I'm at a loss. What do you do when you want nothing more than to please those around you, but not at the cost of your own happiness? What then? What if what makes you happy, is what's causing nothing but disappointment?
Family is extremely important to me. But they are who are bringing me down. And it's miserable. I want nothing but the best for them, nothing more than happiness, and love. Why do they not want the same for me?
I want nothing out of this life more than a family, love, and a home. That's what I have wanted for a long, long time. It seems each year it slips further out of my grasp.
I'm tired. Tired of being treated this way. Tired of trying so hard. Tired of being there for everyone else. Tired of making sure everyone else is ok and ignoring myself. Tired.
And I despise myself for feeling this way. Because I do have a LOT of great things going for me. A full time job, a roof over my head, a very healthy great son. I feel selfish for being so stressed over this.
Where, oh where, do you find the balance???
